Saturday 6:23pm.
I should be working, studying, or at least reading but here I am at the UCC library writing as therapy.
It has not been an easy week, got an ultimatum from my boss and although I attended all my lectures, not all my attention was there. I have been distracted and very very tired but one thing has kept me going... passion!
Passion for what you might wonder... Well, I don't fucking know, but I know it is there! I know that my life has a purpose and I love to travel, I adore puppies, I love my career and reading and learning new things but I feel something is missing and it might be my sister's hug or my mum's food or maybe it is the security of a future that I do not have right now.
I am a planner and believe it or not, I am now very organised and a tidy person, who knew!!! However, not knowing what my life would be from now to three months is killing me... not literally but maaaan I wish I knew what the heck I am doing.
Anyway, this entry is actually to let it all out and I am thinking on the people who have supported me in this journey and those who are there for me even when I do not even know where exactly I am...
To my mummy, sister and dogs, they are in different geographic places but always in my heart, always in my prayers, always in the hope of seeing them and hugging them again. I just miss their cuddles so much! Cannot keep going writing about them or I will be dehydrated again for crying so moving on...
A big shout out to my friends, and former friends (including ex- boyfriends and ex-husband) in Ecuador and all over the world, you all know who you are. Thank you for building my character, for teaching me to make lists for everything (they're so handy!), for the love, the patience and the drama. Thank you for the music, for the advise, for ignoring me in times when I needed you, for forgiving my mistakes and yelling "get your shit together Vane!". I am here (now knowing what to do) but here (where I have always wanted to be) for you!
And now that I am here, in my beautiful Cork, my extraordinary Ireland, sort of lost but at the same time sort of found (you know the kind of feeling you have when you are in an airport), excited, sometimes depressed but mostly excited, I have to thank my new people, you all know who you are too, teaching me to appreciate airplanes (in and out), to drink gin&tonics and find out they do not give me a hungover, for laughing at me for finding baby carrots delicious and watching Friends and How I met your mother over and over again, for giving me an Italian family and feeding me like you were my grandma... For cooking for me and taking care of me when I am sick. Thank you also for the music (music is important!) and for teaching to say "I am done!"... again.
What a bittersweet day!!!
Still Saturday 6:45pm... Gotta take a shower and go out with one of my favourite persons for a pint, this is dangerous, we might end up in a gay club dancing and I do not usually dance (that has not changed).
Anyway... if you are reading this it means you are among the people that I refer here included.
6:47pm Coldplay singing "You're a sky full of stars..." You know what? I am!
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