Daddy passed away a little bit more than 2 years ago. He was my hero, my first best friend. I remember arguing with my mum for who he loved the most, of course, I always won! Me, daddy’s little girl all grown up now.
The first time I came to “live” in Europe was 12 years ago, in Munich, lovely time! I was 18, such a baby, full of energy, no hangovers, no worries, no job, just waiting for daddy’s allowance. Today, I’m 30 and I’m back in Europe, hopefully to stay here. My expectations are to find a job, to support myself (although I do that anyway), to start over, like daddy did.
I got closure with his passing not long ago. I don’t cry when I think about him anymore, well maybe with certain concrete memories. I miss him everyday, yes, totally, because I was the kind of daughter that would speak on a daily basis with him, that would call him to tell him “Daddy I dreamt in a frog today, it was disgusting!”, “Daddy, I got good grades this semester” and so on… for everything, but now the difference is that when I think about him, I simply smile or I just blink and that’s it, life goes on.
But… why did I think about him today so badly to write this? Not sure really, let’s figure it out!
Today I started to notice that while being away I have lost friends. You know when people tell you that your family is all you’ve got. It’s fucking true!!! And yes, friends are family that you choose too. In my case I have never been good at keeping hundreds of friends, I mean I am a nice person but I do not have a group of 15 friends or anything like that, it's too overwhelming for me so I admit it, when it comes to friends, I am not a queen bee and I don't wanna be. It’s just not in my DNA, see? First clue, daddy is there! 😊
Funny enough now that I am back in Europe a few friends that I met when I was 18 have started to contact me, to catch up! Yessssss, now we all have lives, in different countries, some are married, some have children but c’mon it’s been a while, so I am very grateful for them in my life and I am also grateful for those that I have lost, maybe I stopped fitting in their lives or them in mine, maybe I was never really there, maybe timing is a bitch, maybe I was, maybe they were.
I am even more grateful for those that I still keep in Ecuador, so very few, but real AF, no need to speak everyday, only to update them with important happenings, and those that I temporarily have here in Ireland (because they will be going back to Italy, Spain or Mexico) and of course for those that I get to keep closer because are Irish!!! 😉
Daddy used to say to me “you are enough” for any kind of situation (school, work, friends, boyfriends) and I might not be “BFF of the year” but I am loyal with those very few I have. I love people, I enjoy different personalities, sentiments, all that involves human interaction, but still, I carry those words with me everyday.
After thinking about the friends I’ve “lost” and the ones I keep, I guess that’s why I decided to begin to write a bit about daddy and my issues, and his wise words to me: “You are enough”.
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