When was the last time you felt excited? But you know… reaaaaally excited? Like, seeing your family after long time excited! Like getting married excited! Seeing a friend that you have not seen in years excited! Moving to an unknown country excited! Packing your bags to go to a new country excited! Leaving your comfort zone excited!
I have been excited for all the reasons I just mentioned, but life is not all about excitement, sometimes it is about fears and difficult situations.
I lost my dad two years ago after a very short cancer battle. However, I think it was an experience that actually brought me back to life, ironic huh? Losing him made me remember my dreams, how much I had postponed what I had always wanted to do, to study a masters abroad. I mixed the grieving feeling with hope, hoping for a change there was nothing holding me back.
My decision was made and as happy and excited as I was for my decision, I still had to realize that I was leaving many people and things behind for something unknown.
The first shock when I came to Ireland was to know that almost all my classmates were 22-23 years old. I am 30. I consider myself as a grown-up woman, who has been through a lot but I am also confident and fun! So I just decided that I had to forget about my age and just join the group! I mean after all, age is just a number!
The second shock was the way lecturers grade here. I did not know that 70/100 was a good grade until one of my classmates saw me really concerned and he explained the system… phew!!!
On top of that and while the days passed a few pending issues back home found me. I am a runner so my first thought was: how could they find me? I run and I am in Ireland for Christ’s sake! Never mind, as a big girl that I am, I faced those issues through long skype talks, long voice notes with my mum and lawyers, long nights overthinking everything.
I am only human so after assignments and personal issues back home I felt exhausted, really physically and emotionally exhausted.
I thought I was healthy, running almost everyday, eating salads and fruit, drinking water, having fun with friends but I still felt something was not ok. One day, like magic, I got an email from UCC Students News, the headline was “Understanding and Managing Stress & Anxiety” … I couldn’t help but wonder, was I being stressed and that was why I was feeling so exhausted all the time?
I kept reading and it said “Student Counselling & Development offer free…” I had to send an email to them! I was kept on the waiting list for very few days and then they contacted me for an appointment. Best decision I ever made being here!
Missing your family is normal, struggling with university stress is normal but mental health is always important and I believe it is even more important while being away from home. You never know how you are dealing with coping to a new country and culture and overall because we all leave things behind, we all come “with baggage” when coming to write a new chapter of our story and we must feel confident that we will overcome anything with the right help and guidance.
Ireland and UCC have offered me more than only a place. I left my comfort zone to find myself, to recover the passion for my career, to deal with personal issues with the right professional help and find new friends and stories that are building my character as well.
Dare to dream, reach for the stars!
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