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Foto del escritorVanessa Pulgarin

My mum, my Misae

All I was thinking on my way home was that I wanted to call my mum but at the same time, I didn’t want her to feel me upset, so I hesitated for a few minutes. Got home and boom! A message from her! That’s my mum, she senses, and our connection has been like this since I can remember.


I feel like I talk about my dad pretty often, he always comes up in my stories but because he always had something to say. My mum is different, she chooses very wisely when to say something. She never meddles into any situation because as she always says, she’s no one to judge. However, when anything happens I go to her, I ask for her opinion because there is no one in this world that would love me more than she does, she only wants the best for me, she’s shown me and my sister that by making very tough decisions, by being resilient towards the most difficult situations and all that, with a smile in her face and in the most gracious way possible.


Here is a list of a few things I’ve learned from my mum and things I thank her for and love about her. It’d take me months to list many more but these are the most important ones that come to my head right now that I want to dedicate her a post.


· My mum taught me that my body was sacred in many contexts. For instance, she told me I had to take care of it by eating healthy. She told me since I was a kid to tell her if anyone touched me or if I felt uncomfortable with anyone around. She would never leave me alone in a room full of men or strangers.

· When I grew up, she told me about teenage pregnancies and how difficult my life would be if I didn’t use protection and that I was too young for that but that I should know all about it.

· My mum taught me that class doesn’t come from a last name or material things, she taught me that a lady is who respects herself. She said to me if they like you raise a glass, if they don’t, they should raise their standards! I know is a quote from somewhere but thank God she used it with me. In this same regard, she said that I should never stay where I feel unwelcome.

· My mum texts me and my sister every day, she says “dedito” which would be the thumbs up emoji but we never do, we always say something more because we need more from her. I always go to her for anything, good news, bad news, gossip, a joke, you name it! My mum and my sister are my girls!

· My mum taught me that it’s ok to fall apart but there’s always something to live for, there’s always a goal to pursue, a dream to accomplish and that I had to do whatever it was necessary for me to be happy, even if that meant for me to go away and not see her often.

· My mum learned to love dogs as much as I do. She now says hi to them and smiles at them. I remember when I was a kid she used to say “don’t go to close to the dogs” now she sends me photos hugging them! She asks my sister for photos of our dogs.

· My mum taught me to be honest because she would always find out the truth anyway. I call her witch and she loves it!

· My mum is horrified by spiders while I am horrified by slugs and when I tell her that I’ve seen a slug she says “there there baby”. She knows how disgusted and upset I am.

· My mum encouraged me and my sister to be good students, of course she cared about our grades but most importantly every time she got our report card, she said “You’re so intelligent, I’m so proud of you”. She would also tell us that we had to improve in something but we weren’t just numbers or hours in books, she trusted us in school, she knew that if we weren’t doing homework or studying it was because we had paid attention in class and we were fine.

· My mum taught me to recognise my mistakes and that it was ok to say “I’m sorry”. She has apologised to me and I have apologised to her.

· My mum taught me not to be resentful. Never allow an argument to break our family bond.

· My mum laughed so hard when she saw my sister and I fighting or being silly. She said that we needed our own reality show. The Kardashians look normal compared to us (except for the plastic surgeries).

· My mum is confident enough to say that some kids just need a “guaracazo” to learn how to behave.

· My mum is loud, the most Latina mum ever.

· My mum has flaws, as anyone, but they don't matter.

· When my mum warns me about something, I have to, must listen to her because if I don’t, the worst happens. It’s like a curse! “Que pasa cuando no haces caso a mama?” Worst thing she’d say to me! I immediately have to listen to her.

· My mum had lovely parents, my grand-parents obviously. Loving, caring, humble and just fantastic human beings. She misses them every day. She learned how to be a good mum, from her own.

· My mum dances when she’s happy and sings when the year is about to end.

· My mum fancies Chayanne… whose mum doesn’t?

· My mum likes Muse and Marilyn Manson… and Los Bukis!

· My uncles and aunties tell me hilarious stories about my mum as a kid. She used to be a cryer, no wonder the way I am.

· My mum’s best friend is also her sister, who is also my second mum, our Mimi.

· My mum loves our cousin as a son, and we love him as an hermanito.

· My mum hates her coffee or food cold and it’s worst than a food critique in a restaurant.

· My mum loves flowers, mushrooms, her perfume Tresor, and café con pan.

· My mum always tells me that “God’s timing is perfect”.

· My mum tells me and my sister that she loves us every day. She shows us this too every day.

Tomorrow is one important day for her and half for me. In a week, it’s mother’s day in Ecuador but everyday I thank God I have her in my life, a few miles away, a few uncertainties about when I’ll see her again but everyday she’s the best mum I could have ever asked for.


I hope to see my mum soon, I need her cuddles.


Love you always Misae!





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