We all push ourselves to be first on whatever we do, but what if we cannot make it? Do we stop or do we seek a second chance?
Dreams.
Many people have asked me why Ireland? My first answer is why not?! But then, I give a full explanation. I have always wanted to study in an English-speaking country and I was accepted in three universities in the UK for the 2017 – 2018 year but daddy passed away early 2017 and me being the oldest had to deal with all the legal, economic and emotional consequences, which led me to not being able to go there for that year and to spend a lot of money on these issues. At first, I was very sad but now I’ve realized that what happened to me was a life’s second chance opportunity.
I was out of savings because of all the expenses I had to incur but I just knew I had to go abroad to study. I wanted a masters, I needed it for my career, and I had that goal in life and you know what people say: a goal is a dream with a plan.
My plan was to look for a scholarship and that’s how I found an Irish opportunity and then I thought wtf! Why haven’t I thought about Ireland? So, I looked up universities, masters and from the very beginning UCC people were sooooo nice and kind and the masters costed much less than the masters in the UK! Plus with all the Brexit drama… UK was no longer an option. UK out, Ireland in!
So, you could say that Ireland was my second choice but when it comes to decisions and opportunities, the firsts not always mean sustainability, the firsts are not always the best. It’s like the first love, you might love him madly but after it, you love better. So, as I was saying, the firsts sometimes are not sustained in time, sometimes they will fade away or God might laugh at our plans or you will change your mind adapting yourself to a new reality. Therefore, I believe second choices are second chances in disguise.
People.
But… Can people be second choices too? No. For me, people are not choices, we don’t choose them, who do we think we are to believe that? Just because two guys or girls like you then you have a choice? Bullshit!!! People have roles in our lives, and we play a role in theirs as well. You might be the villain in someone’s story but as long as you don’t hurt anyone intentionally, that (being “the villain”) is a blessing in disguise. Being a “villain” sometimes is being someone people don’t want you to be or be someone you no longer are and fuck them! We all change, we evolve, and when we are who we really want to be, we blossom… and that again is why I gave myself a second chance.
Others.
Do we get a saying for others’ second chances? I think so. Chances yes, choices no. We might give them a second chance, the choice is ours. We get to choose who, how, when to give a second chance maybe a third, or a hundredth but I also think we have to be careful. Careful in the sense that not everyone will give the same importance to things that matter to you and some will not even notice that they had a second chance. After all, we all have limits and it’s only ourselves who get to set them.
I have the feeling that I write as if I were selfish and to be honest, it kind of concerns me. I guess being alone has had that impact on me but just to pour my thoughts out (like Dumbledore :D ) I want to say (write) loud and clear that I do care about my people. I think about how my actions will have an impact on them. I have my own concerns and insecurities. I care about being hurt. I care about being wrong. I am concerned about make it or not here in Ireland. I am worried about things in Ecuador… but if I don’t get a saying in my own chances and choices, then who?
"There is a choice you have to make in everything you do. So keep in mind that in the end, the choice you make, makes you." John Wooden
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